my father is sixty-four years old today. I worry I will one day be as senile as he manages to be, it is truly spectacular. I remember once my maths teacher was shocked at his age and said, and I quote - "he looks good for his age" - hahahahahahahahahaha.
Anyway, in the true family spirit, I woke up at 10.30 when he had been up for about four hours and my mother is already at work. So I felt kind of guilty so I fetched his beautifully wrapped (I couldn't find sellotape so I used huge pieces of brown parcel tape) presents (yes, all two of them...) and his lovely card which conveniently compliments me and not him while still looking like I have made an effort because it says it is to Dad... It has a series of penguins on it, saying 'You may not have the cash of Elton John' accompanied with a picture of a 'rich' (and this artists interpretation of rich is a penguin, still naked besides his supposed riches, wearing a large blinging chain which if I were rich, I would pay to have removed from my sight..) penguin. Then inside it cancels all of these blows to the ego out with a happy looking penguin saying 'But it's okay because you've got me!'. Perfect I thought, as it does the kind thing of cancelling the numerous implied insults, while not actually complimenting. Well, I wrote 'from Jenny' at the bottom and then put it in the envelope, then even I felt bad at the fact that my self-praising card had only two words written on it, and after looking at his appaulingly wrapped presents I thought it was only fair to add more to the card.
This was easier said than done. I tried and I tried to think of something to write, infact I think I sat in silence for about half an hour with no luck... Eventually, I wrote 'love' before the 'from Jenny', I added two 'x's and wrote at the top 'you're well old'. The card somehow, despite my thoughtful additions, still looked bare, so on the blank side of the inside card, I drew a picture of the old man himself, artistically with my biro, complete with mad proffesor (and my dad conveniently is a proffessor, he doesn't just have the good fortune of looking like one) curly balding hair, humongous glasses and then I thoughtfully drew his two presents in use (a belt and a jumper). For some strange reason the poor man loved it. He put the card up with his one other one, which was a card from my mother with the implied insult that he is deaf (which he completely is and just doesn't admit!).
I am now passing the day by being a good daughter, making a cake and not going to see any of my friends. Although my father and I aren't actually speaking so I could go out, I am being the bigger person by not doing so....right?
Anyway, in the true family spirit, I woke up at 10.30 when he had been up for about four hours and my mother is already at work. So I felt kind of guilty so I fetched his beautifully wrapped (I couldn't find sellotape so I used huge pieces of brown parcel tape) presents (yes, all two of them...) and his lovely card which conveniently compliments me and not him while still looking like I have made an effort because it says it is to Dad... It has a series of penguins on it, saying 'You may not have the cash of Elton John' accompanied with a picture of a 'rich' (and this artists interpretation of rich is a penguin, still naked besides his supposed riches, wearing a large blinging chain which if I were rich, I would pay to have removed from my sight..) penguin. Then inside it cancels all of these blows to the ego out with a happy looking penguin saying 'But it's okay because you've got me!'. Perfect I thought, as it does the kind thing of cancelling the numerous implied insults, while not actually complimenting. Well, I wrote 'from Jenny' at the bottom and then put it in the envelope, then even I felt bad at the fact that my self-praising card had only two words written on it, and after looking at his appaulingly wrapped presents I thought it was only fair to add more to the card.
This was easier said than done. I tried and I tried to think of something to write, infact I think I sat in silence for about half an hour with no luck... Eventually, I wrote 'love' before the 'from Jenny', I added two 'x's and wrote at the top 'you're well old'. The card somehow, despite my thoughtful additions, still looked bare, so on the blank side of the inside card, I drew a picture of the old man himself, artistically with my biro, complete with mad proffesor (and my dad conveniently is a proffessor, he doesn't just have the good fortune of looking like one) curly balding hair, humongous glasses and then I thoughtfully drew his two presents in use (a belt and a jumper). For some strange reason the poor man loved it. He put the card up with his one other one, which was a card from my mother with the implied insult that he is deaf (which he completely is and just doesn't admit!).
I am now passing the day by being a good daughter, making a cake and not going to see any of my friends. Although my father and I aren't actually speaking so I could go out, I am being the bigger person by not doing so....right?
Hahahaha, Jenny ♥
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